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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Dark Knight Nominated For a Slew of PCA's


It’s awards season and the most irrelevant of all awards, the People’s Choice Awards has unveiled this year’s batch of nominees. The award is irrelevant, not because you the people don’t matter, but because you’ve already voted with your ticket purchases. Congratulations, The Dark Knight is your favorite movie of 2008. Now you can vote for it yet again by going to pcavote.com. Here’s the full list of nominees, with my unavoidable, mostly useless commentary:

FAVORITE MOVIE:
The Dark Knight
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man

Gutsy of them to nominate a rape movie.



FAVORITE COMEDY MOVIE:
27 Dresses
Get Smart
Mamma Mia!

At least one of these movies is not a comedy, and two of them are not funny. Poor Forgetting Sarah Marshall.



FAVORITE MOVIE DRAMA:
21
Eagle Eye
The Secret Life of Bees

Only one of these movies has actually been seen by a large number of people, and it’s not a drama.



FAVORITE FAMILY MOVIE:
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Kung Fu Panda
WALL-E

Skadoosh! Maybe the Pixar cult will at least let Kung Fu have this one meaningless award.



FAVORITE INDEPENDENT MOVIE:
The Duchess
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
The Secret Life of Bees

The people have already voted in this category. They have voted with their wallets not to watch indie movies.



FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE:
The Dark Knight
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man

Hey, these nominees look familiar.



FAVORITE CAST:
The Dark Knight
Mamma Mia!
Sex and the City

Dead man, bad singing, or slutty women. You decide.



FAVORITE ON SCREEN MATCHUP:
Christian Bale & Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Shia LaBeouf & Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler - Baby Mamma

SNL people against action movies... hmmm.



FAVORITE FEMALE MOVIE STAR:
Angelina Jolie
Keira Knightley
Reese Witherspoon

Name three women whose movies no one has seen this year but everyone wants to bang.



FAVORITE MALE MOVIE STAR:
Harrison Ford
Robert Downey Jr.
Will Smith

Name three men who have been in movies everyone has seen this year.



FAVORITE MALE ACTION STAR:
Christian Bale
Robert Downey Jr.
Will Smith

Vote for the big black bat, the white black man, or the real black man.



FAVORITE FEMALE ACTION STAR:
Angelina Jolie
Anne Hathaway
Cate Blanchett

None of these women were in action movies this year.



FAVORITE LEADING MAN:
Brad Pitt
Christian Bale
Mark Wahlberg

Unless you count Mark Wahlberg Talks to animals, when was the last time Marky Mark lead anything? The plants were the stars of The Happening, and the slo-mo was the star of Max Payne.



FAVORITE LEADING LADY:
Anne Hathaway
Kate Hudson
Queen Latifah

Anyone else getting the impression that Anne Hathaway was the only female star worth watching in 2008?



FAVORITE SUPERHERO:
Christian Bale as Batman/Bruce Wayne
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man
Will Smith as John Hancock

Sucks to be Edward Norton.



FAVORITE FUNNY MALE STAR:
Adam Sandler
Jim Carrey
Steve Carell

Steve Carell is the only nominee with no talent.
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